Some Words on the Recent Tragedy

I don't feel like this is the venue to discuss this tragedy, but I feel I would be remiss if I don't address it. My heart goes out to the families of all involved in Friday's tragic events. As a teacher, as a parent, as a human being, I am appalled by the travesty that has occurred. As you find your own way to cope, I hope that you can keep a few things in mind.

• Keep it classy, civil and tasteful. Many are using this event as an opportunity to get on their soap boxes and argue for whatever cause they believe in. Should you choose to do so, please keep things classy, civil and tasteful. Spewing hateful words towards others doesn't help anyone.
• Put yourself in the shoes of the family members. Before you hit that share button, ask yourself, "If this was my family member, would I want others to spread this around?"
• Check your sources. Misinformation about this event is spreading like wildfire. Before you post, repost or share, make sure the source is a trustworthy one.

For many of us teachers, returning to work afraid this tragedy will be especially difficult. Hug your students, cry with your coworkers, and remember that we do this for the children, in whatever capacity that may be.

5 Reasons Why You Should Vote for ATHG as Art Ed Blog of the Year

1. Art Teachers Hate Glitter is a unique art education blog. Quick. Name your top 5 favorite art ed humor blogs. What's that? You could only come up with one? Hmm... that's what I thought. There are a lot of great art ed blogs out there with fabulous lesson plans, beautiful photos of student artwork and tons of fantastic classroom advice. Mine is not one of those (but I sure am honored to be nominated along with them).
2. I'm not afraid to tackle the tough topics. Like feces, and head lice, and poorly designed art materials.
3. It's good for my self-esteem. When my self-esteem gets a boost, I feel better about myself, and when I feel better about myself, I'm in a better mood, and when I'm in a better mood, I have more fun, and when I have more fun, I find more humor in tough situations, and when I find more humor in tough situations, I blog about them, and when I blog about them, you get to read about them, and when you read about them, you laugh, and when you laugh, you're in a better mood too. So really, it's for all of us.
4. I speak for all of us. I say all the things you wish you could say. You know, like this, and this, and this.
5. Most importantly, because you like me. You really, really like me. Er, I mean, Art Teachers Hate Glitter. You like Art Teachers Hate Glitter.  And that's reason enough.

Head on over to The Art of Education and cast your vote! Voting closes December 14th, so don't delay!

Misheard in the Art Room

"These cows look like romantic turtles." -5th Grade Student

   
  
  

10 More Things An Elementary Art Teacher Will Never Tell You

Hello, regular classroom teachers! Guess what?

1. We lie to you about our supplies. I know I told you I gave away my last bag of pipe cleaners to one of your cohorts, but what I meant was, I gave away the last bag of pipe cleaners that I had in my room. We have loads more in the storage closet. I didn't tell you that though because then you would have wanted me to go get you some. I wasn't about to walk to the other end of the school to get you one lousy bag of pipe cleaners. Plus, I don't want you to think I'm your go-to person for craft supplies. Next you'll be coming to me looking for feathers and glitter. [shudder]
2. We slept through art history in college. Twice. And that's not because I failed it the first time, thankyouverymuch, but because art history is such a huge, expansive topic that it took two semesters to "learn" all the "important" works of art. (If you've ever taken an art history course, then you understand why I placed quotation marks around those two words.)
3. We work hard to keep art class legit. That being said...
4. We find crafts to be appealing. Sometimes. Especially around the holidays and vacations. And at the end of the school year. Basically whenever the kids are getting squirrely and we've just cleaned our 800th bucket of dirty brushes and loaded the kiln for the twelfth time this year. I swear, if you tell anyone I told you that, I'll show you exactly why glue guns should never be used as chapstick applicators. Just because we can see the appeal of the simple crafts, doesn't mean we give in to it. At least not every time.
5. Our duty is better than your duty. My once a week, twice a day bus duty is better than your daily recess duty. Five years ago, my once a week morning bus duty was better than your daily lunch duty.
6. We still don't know your name.
7. We don't know how to grade art. It's not like there's an answer key or anything. I hate grading art. It's so dang hard. It's not like I can just whip out that fancy, double ended, red/blue pen you regular classroom teachers love to use and start marking up my students' work. Wouldn't that be lovely? "Ms. ATHG, how come there's all these red circles on my painting?" "Well, Jimmy, those are all the places you neglected to show proper illusion of depth. And those big red arrows are all the places you failed to show good craftsmanship. And the big red check marks? Well, those I just added for the sake of variety and visual balance, something you obviously don't understand, as I indicated through my use of the big red underlines."
8. The apologetic smiles and head tilts you give us when you drop off your unruly students don't ease the pain of the torturous class we're about to endure for the next hour. You know what would help? LEARNING SOME CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT SKILLS! That way, I wouldn't have to retrain your students on how to behave in a classroom every single week. It really puts a damper on our art class.
9. Dropping your students off 5 minutes late does not mean you get to pick them up 5 minutes late. And as that clock continues to tick, and I see you slowly strolling down the hall, slurping your iced latte, and casually conversing with a colleague, you're dang tootin' right I'm sending your line of students out to meet you.
10. Teaching art is fun, and we don't envy you for your job. I can't even begin to imagine how much of a burden it is to be responsible for a child's ability to read, let alone 30, every year. No thank you. I'll take my job, for better or worse, for thick or thin, over your job any day of the week. Thankyouverymuch.